January 2012
7 posts
I’ve never been more incapable of putting what I’m feeling into words than I am right now.
This is new.
The closest I’m coming is “Ouch”, and that’s definitely all wrong.
I’m just going to eat a lot of junk food, rewatch You and Me and Everyone We Know, and go to bed early.
Shoot, man.
Sometimes you just have to listen to Boards of Canada and try and figure out some way to explain and define Doctrinal terms (such as Salvation, Regeneration, Sanctification, Imputation, Glorification…) in words that don’t suck the life out of what are, in real life, really great things.
In theory: “Yay salvation!”
In reality: “Uh, well, salvation is when,...
“I’m attracted to the extreme light and the extreme dark. I’m interested in the...”
– Johnny Depp. (via suitupboyswereonvacation)
December 2011
8 posts
“I have frequently seen people become neurotic when they content themselves with...”
– Carl Jung (via psychotherapy)
(When I talk to my friends about how, “even if I stay in this lovely small town until the day I die I’ll still live in a world much larger than here”, this is more or less what I mean.)
Hold on, hold on, you’ve really gotta hold on…
Man, this is the worst.
Furiously debating pros and cons of a long distance relationship with someone you haven’t actually known well for a tremendous amount of time is a fairly nerve wracking thing when you’re a guy like me who’d rather watch someone for a year before saying hello.
Of course, it’s a dumb debate;...
fifteen years old in my head
suckin’ it down and smiling a little
around.
fifteen year old dead on a television desk
some messes require carelessness
some pain
some finesse
fifteen year olds forty fourth birthday at the bar
afraid of my own shadow and still looking at the bartender all wrong
I’ll spend the next fifteen years running from ever becoming you.
November 2011
22 posts
January comes-quickly and quietly.
Will it be better(when you’re in Chile?[when you come back?])
(I’m tired of trying to pretend/I don’t love you)^-2
A little+a lot.
Go teach the kids English>I’ll hike 2,000 miles.
y=maybe someday
Anonymous asked: Not only do I love your blog ( heh found it ) but I also am secretly infatuated with you. K. here we go I got this idea from a spam msg I received on Facebook lol.. I know you like me but were always way too shy to say so :3 go hit up crushmasher(dót)com (uhh it wont let me do a regular link) then make an acct there. Search for the profile 'justmeandu33' ( obv me ) I posted body...
"Two Romantic Piano Trios by Women Composers" by...
yama-bato:
http://magnatune.com/artists/albums/streicher-twopianotrios/
Foul ball left hemisphere
Bird call by the cat caller
Some things require no explanation I hear
I want You to say what I saw her
Lost touch out back
Lost everything else in a smile
Stalker wrong tack
Miles, miles, miles, miles
Do hipsters dream of hipster sheep
I’m not jealous of the things you lack
Struck dumb two skull coral reefs
EXTRA Nature’s beauty IS cruel
I’m...
Just watched Me and You, and Everyone We Know for the first time.
In completely unrelated news, I’m not always convinced that it’s healthy, this lifestyle of only watching movies sans any company.
When I said sans, did you think comic sans?
Wolves in sheep clothing.
And
Get behind me, Satan.
There’s more than one kind of devil in this world.
Man, the inspiration to write only ever strikes me while at work. (exaggeration)
I’ll be trying to be productive, huddled over some car, prepping a body panel for painting with one hand, furiously typing in a notepad on my phone with the other. I can’t edit worth a crap on there though, so now I’m stuck with close to 30 rough and unfinished songs, thoughts and essays. One of...
1 tag
God, it’s cold out here. 45 cigarettes later, I’m still cold and, oddly, still waiting. I remember, I never used to wait for you like this. I’d go upstairs, take a shower, read a book, take a nap, whatever. Wile away my time until the moment you entered the house, then bounding down the stairs as if to say I was missing you the whole while, and there you are.
It was different...
Why don’t you call me
What we both know I am?
Standing on the gray stone, my path stretching out behind me and space on all sides, a void of green matter a thousand feet away just beyond my toes and hips, I’m reminded of our last conversation.
You said “I loved you all those years ago. I liked him, really I did, and I know he was your best friend, but I loved you.”
“How?” I responded, “I was a such a fool...
Winter Fear
partytights:
Is it just winter or is this worse. Is this the year when outer damp obscures a deeper curse that spring can’t fix, when gears that turn the earth won’t shift the view, when clouds won’t lift though all the skies go blue.
- Kay Ryan
I wanted to get drunk last night. To lose myself in the warm comfort of amused and smiling darkness, looking happily down on all my friends from the lofty heights of apathy I am only afforded in complete oblivion. I wanted to cuddle some girl and tell her how great I think she is in my opinion and not have to know in the back of my mind that I’m letting someone fall in love with me;...
Well, weeks of late night rehearsals are finally coming to fruition: last Saturday the Halloween cover band I was in (AKA: SupaRugby) played Monster Mash, Ghostbusters and Michael Jackson’s Thriller, with notable style and grace.
(Wanna watch Thriller? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_PAZh2SO5w)
Last night my Room-mates collaboration…thing, The Hawk and the Rumor (Part Part Musical,...
For me the true danger of being tired to the bone is not a decrease in motor function or mental acuity, it is the otherwise absent presence of nagging self-doubt in my heart.
I question my judgement, my decisions, my morality, my faith; even unto complete doubt in my own ability to think rationally. To see reality for what it is and react in a fashion becoming of the man whose realization is my...
Earl:
Today is 5 months for me as a nonsmoker.
Today I realized—though not discovered—for the first time that you really have stage four lung cancer, and there’s not much time.
I guess we’ve had some better days.
It’s no consolation at all, but I will be a wreck. Am.
October 2011
28 posts
“Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I’m...”
– Jonathan Safran Foer (via quote-book)
Some scrawny girl in some old t-shirt wearing endearingly tasteless coke bottle lens glasses only serving to emphasize her deceptively drab piercing brown eyes sitting in my window with the kids trees and fresh cut fields as her backdrop reading a book I’ve never heard of, and don’t need to read because I’m not her, and she’ll tell me all everything I want to know about it...
Just another old man telling the idealist
You ain’t impressing nobody
Leastwise, not me.
Fever days.
Feel like writing haikus about food poisoning. Or was it the other way around? On, on on, not seven five seven, on on on on on!
My head, my head…
A lot IN THE HEAD, very little resolved. Sleepfevers and coldwaterdreams. Shiverblanket. Bathtubprison.
Where’s the ginger ale?
Wolves. Priestesses in the bedroom. Night terrors of well-dressed clergymen talking about my options. Well...
Watchanarrow:
Coal War//Joshua James
“It’s dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do...”
– Aldous Huxley, Island (via eternalconsciousness)
I grew up with very little, and have little enough, still, but we were happy then and I’m happy now.
Everything we had we worked for, and everything I have now I bought myself. My parents never payed for my life, and I don’t feel the least bit entitled to anything at all, nor do I owe anyone a dime. Everything I do for those around me is out of love, not obligation.
I’m not...
“There is no clearer sign of not being philosophical or wise than wishing all...”
– Leopardi, Thoughts (via invisiblestories)
Man, even by my exceptionally genetically-inclined-to-be-high (You should meet my Dad) standards I’m an extraordinarily busy man this week.
I’m going to bed. Gotta be up at 4AM.
G’night, kids.